In a breath of the wind that sighs

Why does forbidden love seems so... alluring? How I long for someone to call my own but yet it appears so illusionary. Out there, people are falling in love or getting hitched without a care in the world. Here I am listening to love songs and imagining I'm the one expressing the depths of my emotions. Wishing I am somebody that I know I'm not. This yearning and pining for another half makes one dreamy and sighs like the restless wind...

I want not just someone to be my other half, I want love, real love! Feeling that I'm living a life of lies and masquerade. Pretending that all is well with me but my private life is in shambles. It's ironical that I have so many friends yet so feel so alone. God is gracious to send people who love me and care for me... I'm indeed grateful for them... they are indeed my pillars of support. But my present lifestyle is just too far from ideal... Thus the longing... the yearning... the pining. Where does this loneliness stems from. I dread these feelings! Some say loneliness is a disease of the heart. It's small wonder that gay people tend to develop depression...

R sent me a love story about a man who painstakingly hand-carved 6,000-steps for his wife on a hill where they eloped to. An expression of love that took the form of 6,000 steps! Will I elope with my true love to the mountain top in the face of objections, R asked? Nah! No toilet facilities, I said. Haha...