Useless questions, Meaningless answers

I dreamt of Jimmy last night. In my dream, he smiled as I approached him. He looked... different. In the pink of health was the only word I could describe. I thought to myself: "So it was all a mistake. You didn't die after all." I started to laugh, and he continued to smile...

Didn't make it to his wake. Spoke to his brother on the line instead. He said something about Jimmy falling from the window, and there was a pail by it (presumably he was cleaning the window and he fell). Did not probe further due to sensitivity. The morbid part of me wanted to take a final look at him. Wonder what his body would look like after falling 20 storeys... *oh, stop it!*

Don't know who else would be there... Bomberman said he would be there, together with some friends. Messaged Ivan this morning but did not receive a reply. Hope he would take the news well, especially if he was close to Jimmy. Was reading the postings on the website http://jimmy-newtonlim.last-memories.com set up by his family in his memory. Didn't know he had quite a reputation in the events industry. Left my messages as well.

Jimmy, though we only knew one another briefly, it was deep enough for such a news to shake me. Your world was so different from mine. Your lifestyle, the company you kept, the parties you threw... I just didn't fit in. But alone with you, it was a different story. Then again, we all have our public and private self, and reveal our vulnerabilities to selected few. Thanks for allowing me to see the private side of you...

You had made a decision, albeit an ultimate one. Your family, friends and I will miss you. You left with questions unanswered. But I wonder if knowing the answers would really help. One thing is for sure though. Your demise has taught many, especially me the importance of cherishing our loved ones while they are still by our sides. Relegating them to memories after they're gone just doesn't cut it. Thanks for the priceless lesson, babe.

Here's looking at you, kid.